Feedback on my fantasy writing?

To be honest they're both good. It really depends how you want your story to go. I think I like the first one a little bit better though, you used great similies. If you wanted to, you could even combine them. Like have the second one start out the story, then you can have the second one lead into it, like Ariadne can be near the city when she kills the deer (also, you wrote dear, when it's the animal, it's deer)